I think mental darkness holds a kind of alchemical magic. I was at an all time low, the deepest of depths where I could not sink deeper. It doesn’t matter what brought me there, all that matters is that I was there. Eventually, I came out of it. And these past few days since have been filled with extreme awareness, and not that analytical kind of awareness, I mean genuine, heartfelt awareness for the most seemingly insignificant parts of life. I feel extremely alive, possibly the most I’ve ever felt. The deeper the darkness the brighter the light. The deeper the desire is to not exist, the deeper the heart can feel alive in all of existence.