The universe, in response to my unrelenting quest, revealed its true nature to me. Only that I cannot convey its perfection by any means, as it exists beyond the limitations of language, or any other form of expression. And it is this very impossibility that lies at the heart of every photograph and every piece of writing I have created since this unveiling. The chance to express even a momentary glimpse of that eternal, perfect realm is enough to fuel my soul through this life and into whatever may arise after.
Poetry
Bathed in the blue cloak of morning
Bathed in the blue cloak of morning,
The winged creature orchestra
Sings a masterpiece for no one.
Wise giants whisper in unison
While the window units whir on.
Human silence, the perfect tune.
And wind, that river of reminders:
Let your thoughts drift to the ether,
Pass through the pink scarred sky,
For transcendence through healing
Is the way to lasting light.
Elephant Looms
Do you sense we are not alone?
An elephant looms in the room.
She slowly swells up as she pins
My heart in a corner with you.
The Rain Rumbles
The rain rumbles
Settling in my skin
All I want to do is
Feel warmth again
To be free and alive
Far from hate and strife
Let me dance in love
Flow through the wind
Please oh god let me live again
I Sit Quietly In The Chair
I sit quietly in the chair
While my nail technician
Paints this beautifully soft,
Pastel purple color on my
Nails, and I can’t help but
Think: I love these bright,
Simple-minded colors, because
They contrast the complexity
Of soul entangled beneath
This flesh of mine.
Absence / Presence
I was once engulfed in the depths of absence. The piercing light returned my soul to presence. Yet every so often I catch a glimpse of the underground. The shadows remain to give form to the otherwise obscure nature of eternity. One cannot be known without the contrast of the other.
traces of life. feet pacing.
from the weight of it all.
under tasks she finds only
confusion.
aimlessness uncovers
eternity
nowhere to go. but her feet
keep running.
Think Less, Feel More
The more time that passes from my studies at grad school, the more I am drawn to the simple. Not the theoretically complex simple, not the complex masking itself in veiled simplicity, just, simple. It was necessary to learn theory and history, to be so inside the ‘mind’ of it all, but I have become increasingly disinterested in making art that ‘challenges’ the medium or even makes the viewer think in any way. There are enough things in this world that make us think and keep us locked inside our well-furnished minds - what I find is an increasingly dwindling space of experiences that makes us FEEL. I hope for my photographs to make you feel something, maybe peace, something unexpected, maybe it enlivens a long forgotten cob-webbed memory, maybe something similar to what it conjures within myself, maybe nothing at all, maybe the sharp pain of apathy.
Anything to help you feel the fullness of what it means to be you, alive and breathing through those lungs - with your own thoughts and memories and ways of looking at the world; With your own unseen universe that I can only imagine how cavernous and wonderful it is. As Robert Frank so succinctly put, “when people look at my photographs, I want them to feel the way they do when they want to read a line of a poem twice.”
I am in the process of re-learning how to think less, and feel more.
The Soul with Wings
To Awake On a Crisp Morning (Poem)
Dreams,
Dreams,
Jelly beans.
I toss and turn
Like a laundry machine.
I dance in the night
Unafraid of the curse.
I smile in the sun
Knowing I’m my cure.
Love is here in my very bones
Wrapping me in blankets
Like an oversized coat.
The plane floats away
As the leaves turn green.
The train passes by,
Oh what a strange dream.
Divinely Intertwined
Divinely intertwined
Tangled in cotton
The window is open
The air is crisp
The Full Moon rises
Now this is bliss
Poem Drafts
I feel held together by threadbare shoe strings
And worn out elastic
But he said I spin the finest of silks
_
I reside beneath the guise of personality
A busy mind makes a foggy mirror
Spirit is synonymous with light
You are spirit disguised as human
06/25/96-03/23/23
My brother
Michael is dead.
I danced around him
In a blue tutu as children.
I snuck him sweet chocolate
And we rode the rocking horse.
Our parents took us to the zoo,
He was always smiling, my silly,
Sarcastic, sensitive little brother.
He could not speak but he spoke
My name when we were children.
He taught me the wordless gift of
intuition and what the spirit world was like.
We would watch his eyes and know that he
Was dancing with the angels in divine light.
Oh Brother, I Love You So
Oh brother, I love you so
We shared more than blood,
We shared a light-filled soul.
An ineffable bond I could not know,
Not truly until you went back home.
But now that you’re there,
I sense your presence everywhere.
I feel the thread between your soul and mine,
One day we will dance together in the great divine.
Blue swirls drown my soul
Blue swirls drown my soul
As we sit and wait for the unknown toll.
I anguish in a green taxi waiting in traffic -
I see the beauty in her mismatched outfit.
The pain of your death is searing
And yet somehow it helps me see more clearly.
All that is real, true and worth the most
Is that which no man or mind can compose.
We have to be our own sunshine
“How Infectious!”
Infection!
Get the jab or die!
FEAR! DIVISION! ANGER!
(The changing faces of suffering)
What has happened to this world?
He was only talking about
The infectious affect
Of her radiant smile.
She told him,
“With a world as dark as ours,
We have to be our own sunshine.”
Eternity
Different stories
Same past
Who says
This life is last?
We are diaphanous spirits
We are diaphanous spirits
Drifting in worlds unknown,
Even to ourselves,
Ever dying into
Our highest becoming.
I Seek the Underground
I seek the underground in broad daylight
God winked at me as I crossed Madison Ave
Daydreaming for a glimmer of nighttime secrets
Live with your heart anointed in oil
Live with your heart anointed in oil:
All that is shallow shall be repelled,
for only Truth’s depth can arrive